Guy - I Am Not Canadian
A parody of the I Am Canadian Rant, focusing on Quebec regionalism. Not appropriate for all (probably most) students.
I AM NOT A CANADIAN
Guy Qu�becois
(clears throat)
I'm not unemployed or smuggling cigarettes across the border
I don't eat Pepsi and May West for breakfast (*)
I don't watch da hockey game doing it doggie-style
And no, I don't know Claude, Manon, or Fran�ois in Abitibi-T�miscamingue (*)
But I'm sure they all have nice teeth
I smoke in church
I speak Qu�becois in joual, not French or English
I pronounce it "tird", not third
And eating French fries with cheese makes sense, mon ostie,
I believe in a distinct society, as long as someone else pays for it
I believe in language-police, not equal rights
And, calisse, I believe that Club Super-Sex is an appropriate place
for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire
What the hell, she goes on at ten anyway
In Qu�bec, the Stanley Cup actually comes around more often than
Halley's comet
I can get beer at the d�panneur, not the convenience store
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light
But tabarnak, I can go right through it
Because Qu�bec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup
The home of C�line Dion and Roch Voisine
The land where everybody is shacking up and the legal drinking age is
just a suggestion
Je m'appelle Guy, and I am not Canadian
Mot, t'a dit, tabarnak, ostie.
Merci, salut la vedette
(Transcribed by Monique Adriaansen, Mel Priddle, & Jon R. - February 2004)
(*) (Corrections by Alan Bick - December 14th, 2004)
I AM NOT A CANADIAN
Guy Qu�becois
(clears throat)
I'm not unemployed or smuggling cigarettes across the border
I don't eat Pepsi and May West for breakfast (*)
I don't watch da hockey game doing it doggie-style
And no, I don't know Claude, Manon, or Fran�ois in Abitibi-T�miscamingue (*)
But I'm sure they all have nice teeth
I smoke in church
I speak Qu�becois in joual, not French or English
I pronounce it "tird", not third
And eating French fries with cheese makes sense, mon ostie,
I believe in a distinct society, as long as someone else pays for it
I believe in language-police, not equal rights
And, calisse, I believe that Club Super-Sex is an appropriate place
for my wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire
What the hell, she goes on at ten anyway
In Qu�bec, the Stanley Cup actually comes around more often than
Halley's comet
I can get beer at the d�panneur, not the convenience store
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light
But tabarnak, I can go right through it
Because Qu�bec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup
The home of C�line Dion and Roch Voisine
The land where everybody is shacking up and the legal drinking age is
just a suggestion
Je m'appelle Guy, and I am not Canadian
Mot, t'a dit, tabarnak, ostie.
Merci, salut la vedette
(Transcribed by Monique Adriaansen, Mel Priddle, & Jon R. - February 2004)
(*) (Corrections by Alan Bick - December 14th, 2004)
